Long I Stood

Wow, it's been a while. Anyway, if I were to leave in December as planned (a few days ago), I would have heard by October 21. Well, I was in the middle of a two-week vacation that day. When I bought the airline tickets back in July, I didn't imagine I wouldn't have received an invitation by then. Dad was at home checking the mail for me, and I was checking online. Nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing arrived at home and nothing changed online, so I waited a buffer day and then called to find out what to expect.

The short version is that since the Peace Corps nominates more people than can fit in any given program (about 1.7 people for each 1 slot, she told me), it is pretty common for folks to be nominated to a program and then not get placed. With the tanking economy, weakening of the dollar, decreasing program sizes, and increasing number of applicants, she said, the December programs had about 3 nominees for every slot. It filled up, and I wasn't placed. I felt absolutely average and a little disillusioned. Bleh.

When I told my family, my sister invited me to Denver to help with her kids until summertime. Her sixth baby was on his way, and her husband who travels a lot is in grad school, so more hands would be helpful. So, I'm moving to Colorado after Christmas.

Shortly thereafter, my placement officer called me about a new program in June helping teenage girls make good decisions, get educated, and the like. Sounds awesome.

So, I'm back to where I've been: waiting. Honestly, it would have been easier to get a thanks-for-applying letter than to still be in limbo. What's next for Lauren? It's anybody's guess, folks.

More to come.

Fork in the Road

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Thus begins Robert Frost's oft-quoted (and misquoted) verse about the opportunity costs of life. Lately, as I've been awaiting my invitation, it has occurred to me that I need to make something clear. I am awaiting my invitation, yes, but there is still a chance I won't go. I could get a thanks-for-applying letter instead of an invitation packet. Peace Corps is a job I've been applying for, and it's competitive and getting competitive-er, especially with the weakness of the dollar and all.

Anyway, I have long stood looking down my chosen path, not knowing for sure whether I'll be able to pass that way. I have made sacrifices in order to keep this Peace Corps path open to me, and very soon I will have more information. I just can't see past where it bends in the undergrowth, but I will hear at least six weeks before my departure. Or I won't get invited at all.

This is the real source of anxiety--the not knowing whether, not just wondering where and what day. This, you see, makes all the difference. More to come.

More to Come

I wish I could tell you more (because that would mean I would know more), but I did receive an email this morning from a Peace Corps representative asking me for more information. During the first round of application papers, I hadn't actually graduated yet, so they just needed an updated transcript. Oh. I can do that. I sent it right off.

Here are the promising quotes from the email from which I draw comfort: "I reviewed your file this morning," and "We will continue to process your file through the placement process." I know it doesn't sound like much, but I was beginning to wonder what the H was going on. Now I know, and I'm glad.

I just hope I get an invitation before I'm gone out of town for two weeks. Back in June when I booked this trip, I thought for sure I'd have my assignment by now ... hhhhhhh.

The Surreality of It All

I was shopping for deodorant the other day, and the thought occurred to me that whatever I bought might go with me to Africa. Would this brand be effective wherever I am sent? It was a really odd thing to experience, standing there in the aisle at Wal-Mart thinking about taking this little product to the other side of the world. It's funny to think about which parts of my daily life will go with me or stay the same and which parts won't.

Will I take my guitar? Will I learn to play new instruments? Will I get to go to church regularly, and will it be a really long walk to get there or will I ride a bus half-full of livestock? Will it be desert or jungle and how will that affect my hair, skin, and sweat glands? What kind of shoes will I wear? What will I eat? Will there be Coke?

These questions are not at all new to me (I've been wondering about them for many months), but they are suddenly more real. The jeans I wear sitting in my mother's kitchen will be on my body when I'm sitting in someone else's kitchen halfway around the globe. It's an odd thing, really, and now I've suddenly got Doris Day singing "Que sera, sera" in my head. :) More to come.

Answers!

The letter was mailed Monday. It arrived today. That means it took three days to get from DC to Lehi. The letter was not my invitation; it had that ambiguous decision in it. And yes, a placement officer will call me before they send an invitation, and yes, that means I will probably not have an invite by the birthday next week. (Yeah, the big 3-0. Hooah.)

Long story short: my legs are simply not too short, and I'm apparently the right amount of crazy. And I quote my spooky letter. "You have been medically and dentally qualified for Peace Corps service." Hooray! Hoobadeedoo!

Furthermore, "Your application will now be considered by the Office of Placement, which matches the experience of medically qualified applicants with the requirements of available assignments. They will notify you directly of their decision."

I guess I'll find out soon enough (fingers crossed) what "notify you directly" means. More to come. The moment I know. :)

Anxiety Girl

This is seriously the hardest week I've had during the entire process. What does "a decision has been reached regarding your medical review" really mean? When they completed my dental and legal, the site said "there are no [dental or legal] holds on your account at this time," which stirred up no anxiety for me.

This time, however, I'm anxious, and I've got incessant questions buzzing around in my head. How long does it take a letter to go from Washington, DC, to Lehi, Utah? When did they send the letter -- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday? What's in the letter or is it the invitation? Shouldn't a placement officer have called me already if they're sending my invitation? Wouldn't they say invitation instead of letter if it were the invitation, not a spooky letter? If they just needed more information, they wouldn't have said they've reached a decision. Mama mia.

Can you see why I'm freaking out a little? Maybe my legs really are too short! If not, that wording is unfortunate, at best. Hhhhhh. More to come.

Medical Review is Complete

Early this morning, the Peace Corps sent me an email saying my status has changed. This is not a new thing since I got an email like this every time they received something, processed something, or recognized they needed something else from me. This time, however, instead of going back to being on hold while they send me a letter saying I need another shot or doc visit, the site now shows that my medical review is complete.

I quote the site: "Complete. A decision has been reached regarding your medical review. Please look for a letter in the mail."

Now, I saw all my medical files and lab results, and I know I'm fine, but still, there's this lingering irrational anxiety about it all. What if the letter they send says they've discovered that I have some weird disease, that I'm too crazy, not crazy enough, or that my legs are simply too short to be of any service to anyone. What? Maybe if they read my blog, they'll know just what kind of crazy I am. Ha!

Of course, I'll keep my blog updated as things develop. Maybe I'll have my invitation by my birthday next week. That would be a lovely birthday present. More to come.